The Astro Parcel Service

The Astro Parcel Service has experienced major financial cutbacks and, as one of our contracted laborers, you are required to deliver packages by any means necessary, even when facing potentially deadly obstacles. Use the standardized space propulsion device we have kindly provided to supply as many deliveries as quickly as possible to meet our top four clients’ demands. If you fail you will be extermi--we mean, terminated from your current position.

As you find yourself out on the job, keep in mind the sorts of obstacles you might encounter during your scheduled work day. Be sure to protect the package by any means necessary (even if it’s with your life as stated in your contract) from meteors, orbiting rocks, black holes, astrobursts and the occasional cosmic squid.

Have fun as you fly around in space out there, remember management’s motto: Our employees are expendable. Our high quality customer service is not.